• Vicki Lee

A slice of meh

I mean there is nothing wrong with this week particularly, but I have been feeling off my game both mental and physically. It is okay these weeks happen but knowing that does not make them any easier to live through.

One of the reasons I have been feeling meh is because Shielding here in the UK is going on now till at least the 31st of March and whilst I understand and appreciate the needing to keep us “safe” it is a long time to go with out family and friends. I personally like many other CEV (critically extremely vulnerable) I have not felt safe even when we have not been directly in shielding. Which means it coming up to over a year since I have last been in any of my best friends houses. To go from seeing these people and their families EVERY WEEK to sporadic days when the weathers nice is hard and it is getting harder the longer it goes.

On top of that it we don’t seem to be in a better place than at the start of the pandemic, the hospitals are full, which for me personally has seen a pause in non-urgent transplant, tests cancelled yet to have a new date. And these things do make me feel extremely nervous, uneasy and a bit scared to be honest with you.

Another reason I have been feeling meh is because (this is probable not the same at all GP’s) but mine have been particularly difficult to get in to physically see someone…. I have tried for two weeks now and I have only spoken to people over the phone, which is something don’t get me wrong, but I find this method extremely frustrating as I’m sure the doctors do.

And on top of that my body has just been feeling weird, I don’t know how to explain it, but its tired and unhappy. But again, this happens sometimes, don’t worry I will be keeping an eye on how I’m feeling and will seek advice ect. If it is required, but unfortunately living with PH means that I have good days and bad days. I’m sure with some good nights sleep I will feel much better, but unfortunately my sleep has also been meh. I often find when I’m mentally or physical unhappy my brain especially at bedtime will take me to an imaginary land where I’m not ill and I can and I’m living my best life. I quite enjoy it to be honest which is probably why I find it hard to turn it off and go to sleep…

I guess its only Wednesday plenty of time for the week to turn around….

but with the dentist tomorrow its not looking promising.

Rupaul's drag race UK is defiantly helping to cheer me up though!

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